Vignette Writer Uses Vignette as Pickup Line, Instantly Rejected

Yesterday, Friday, December 8, Tulane Vignette writer Purvis Short reportedly used The Tulane Vignette as a pickup line at a party, only to be instantly rejected within seconds of stating the line.

“It really went downhill fast,” Short reminisced on the situation, “I said my name, she said her name was Jessica, and then I immediately went for the, ‘so, you don’t happen to read the Tulane Vignette, do you?’ at that point she said yes and I thought I had it in the bag. Then I dropped the old line of, ‘you know, I write for that paper.’ From there the rejection was instant.”

Reports say that the laughter from Jessica Teber was so loud that the music stopped and all surrounding party members turned from their conversations.

“He thought that would make me sleep with him!” Jessica told reporters, giggling through the story as she told it, “The Tulane Vignette? The newspaper that had an entire article devoted to sexiling someone to masturbate alone? Psh, yeah, I want to sleep with that guy… definitely one of the better parts of my night. I mean, he couldn’t have even lied and said he wrote for the Hullabaloo? Weak.”

Despite the unfortunate turn of events, Short still has his chin up. “It’s ok, I’ve had worst. I put this right in between ‘You remember, the boil water advisory? My fault’ and ‘I have bowel issues.’”

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