Vignette, Hullabaloo Writers Have Disastrous Mixer

Over the weekend, the plucky and beautiful staff of The Tulane Vignette hosted the bourgeois “Hullabaloo writers” in the social event of the decade, the First Annual Reporter’s Hootenanny. The party was held in a large but upscale Garden District pothole, and featured the crème de la crème of the élite in college joúrnalism.

Hullabaloo editor Victoria Von Caviar stirred up some trouble when she tried to make a joke about President Fitts looking as if he was always crying. “That’s our territory, go take your mink tophat somewhere else, Von Caviar,” said Vignette writer, Stone D. Gutterman.

 

Esmée Van Der Ralphlauren was shocked and aroused by the Vignette writers’ infinite sex appeal and wise, yet revolutionary senses of humor after Vignette writer Chug Fudgeman showed her a photoshopped image of Dean McLaren farting onto a pile of cocaine.

“My ventricle! I am having an infarction!” Van Der Ralphlauren exclaimed before laughing to death.

Those weren’t the only Hullabaloo bloopers (Hullabaloopers™) of the night. At one point, a Hullabaloo reporter named Reginald Connecticut-Semicolon was even asked to leave on the premise of “too much typo editing.” When asked to comment on the disagreement, Vignette writer Mary Jane Chronic remarked , ” we at The Vignette pride ourselfs on our typos; Thats how you know our shit is real, raw and and comepletely uneditedf”.

The event was a “pot-luck” and according to social norms, every Vignette writer brought pot. However, like the bunch of gauche ninnies that they are, every Hullabaloo writer brought ‘food’. “It’s called a goddamn potluck, not a ‘foodluck’ jeez,” commented Joey “Nine-Fingers” O’Dingus. The Hullabaloo dishes were, according to Vignette writer Fartholomew Buttman, weird Pinterest food. The Vignette writers remained humble about their multiple Pulitzer Prize wins whilst Hullabaloo writers scooped up fondue with their monocles.

 

All was well in the end though. Vignette writers managed to eat everything in sight. When they ran out of food, the Vignette writers ate the entire Hullabaloo staff.


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