Turf War Between Landmark Security and TUPD Culminates in an Epic Rap Battle:

This month, tensions between Landmark Security and TUPD have been palpable. Turf wars between the two groups have taken a turn for the violent, and came to a head Halloween weekend. Vignette writers happened to be on the scene, taking a break from trick or treating to find TUPD pitted against Landmark Security in a vicious rap battle outside Cudd Hall. What follows is a verbatim transcript of that battle:

[Wu-Tang Clan’s “Protect Ya’ Neck” Instrumentals]

Verse 1- MC PoPo
Uh…ok… here we go.
TUPD puttin’ the 5-0 in the 504
Wanna see where we reign? Ok, here’s a tour:
St. Chucks to Claiborne
Broadway to ‘Houn,
We keep the blocks hot like a Demi Lovato tune.
We’re the OG’s of Justice- an Uptown Judge Judy
You got weird eyes and a limp like Mad-Eye Moody.
Grab some PJ’s, the Hulla’, and relax
While I give you knowledge straight from Howie T’s stacks.
Golf Carts, bikes, and patrols of at least two;
Our resources are unlimited- we move faster than you.
Were much older and wiser, and if you’re astute
You’ll see Landmark is sloppy gross, we’re talkin’ freshman at the Boot.
So please step back and we’ll resume our patrol
We’ve been on top of the game since Fitts took control

Verse 1- Yella Jackit
We are the new wave, you are the old wave.
We see you and get sick- call us the Green Wave.
Ridin’ your bikes around, you must be a child.
The simple truth? Our peacekeeping skills are wild.
We arrived last month cuz of Mr. Sardoni,
And now we’re the bosses- a southern Vito Corleone.
Catch us rollin’ about town in a fresh Yellow Jacket,
We have observable swagger and you certainly lack it.
Campus presence is huge, it’s hard to ignore us.
You’re in the background like a Shakespearean chorus.
So please step aside as we usurp your throne,
We’re dripping with justice, like Batman’s ice cream cone.
We apologize to grill you just like Oz in Bruff,
But the verses are hot, coming right off the cuff.
Your flows are rusty, better get some new piping
Call us Dora the Explorer because the Swipers will stop swiping.

Verse 2- MC PoPo
Allow me to rebut, cause you’re just not our equal
You’re just a bad follow up like a Star Wars Prequel
You’ve just been struck- ZAP- lightning rod.
In fact, you’re as useless as the balls on A-quad

Verse 2- Yella Jackit
Here is the thing that you fail to see:
It goes Kobe, Lebron, Landmark Security.
If you had done your job we wouldn’t be here
So do us a big favor and just disappear.

Unfortunately, the battle had to end there once they were made aware of a campus crime by an anonymous source on Yik-Yak.


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