Tulane Electronic Dance Music Services (TEDMS) Turn Back of Ambulance into Rave

With the upcoming Gambit rankings of the best nightclubs in the city, Tulane Electronic Dance Music Service (TEDMS), the TEMS ambulance turned nightclub, hopes to be in consideration for the top spot.

Senior Graham Fisher, the guy who turns on the TEMS ambulance siren, is the medical genius behind Tulane’s freshest dance trend. He describes his sound as a “daft puke-y mix of life-threatening emergencies and samples that are as fucking sick as his passengers.”

“I really got into it my junior year,” continued Fisher, “it all started this one time, when I turned on the siren and the guy we were transporting kept yelling about how rad that drop was.”

Over the past year, the club has evolved to become a quintessential part of the TEMS experience. Fisher went on to explain, “We rewired the ambulance light so it flashes on the inside to create a funky acid-house atmosphere. Dancing is old news, shit, my grandma did that—tequila shots and gurney dancing is where it’s at. ”

Sophomore Hannah Phelps praised the club, saying, “I got TEMS’d quite a few times freshman year, and it was kinda cool, but nothing I’d really look forward to. Now every Friday I get shitfaced at FAQ so I can go straight to TEDMS. It’s just the safest place to do Molly.”

Not everyone is a fan of the new nightclub though. Freshman John Coveney complained, “I broke my wrist in a flag football game yesterday, but when I got into the ambulance everyone was all sweaty and dancing to this ‘wub wub’ music. I got so overwhelmed I started crying and the TEMS guy just said, ‘Can you be a little louder? I’m tryna sample that shit.””

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