Ted Cruz Porn Scandal Diverts Attention from Mike Pence’s Browser History Full of His Brother’s Wedding Photos

U.S. Representative Mike Pence (R-IN) looks at his notes before a news conference about the goal of permanently extending Bush-era tax rates at the U.S. Capitol in Washington December 2, 2010. Pence told reporters on Thursday his view on stripping the Federal Reserve of its mandate to ensure full employment remains unchanged after a meeting with a top Fed official. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst (UNITED STATES - Tags: POLITICS BUSINESS)

SEPTEMBER 12, 2017 – Vignette White House correspondent Tabby Macintosh reported recently that in the wake of hysteria surrounding Ted Cruz’s porn tweet, Mike Pence has been able to enjoy browsing his brother’s wedding album on Facebook without worry of being discovered.

The Vice President has been sinfully browsing the nuptial photographs without his wife’s knowledge. Were anyone to find out, he could kiss his career goodbye, but without the press breathing down his neck, he can—for once—rest safe feeling happy that his brother found such a handsome and photogenic woman to marry.

Secret Serviceman Todd Teller questioned the Veep after he would repeatedly sneak off to the bathroom with his brother’s wedding album open on his phone. Pence is believed to have defended himself by explaining: “her tasteful gown contrasts beautifully against the lush foliage and lakefront spreading behind her. And boy does she have some good birthing hips.”

At press time, a knock on Pence’s bedroom door scared the living daylight out of him, causing the vice president to knock over his bowl of Werther’s Originals and close the browser page immediately.


the attachments to this post:

U.S. Representative Mike Pence (R-IN) looks at his notes before a news conference about the goal of permanently extending Bush-era tax rates at the U.S. Capitol in Washington December 2, 2010. Pence told reporters on Thursday his view on stripping the Federal Reserve of its mandate to ensure full employment remains unchanged after a meeting with a top Fed official.  REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst    (UNITED STATES - Tags: POLITICS BUSINESS)
U.S. Representative Pence looks at his notes before a news conference at the U.S. Capitol in Washington


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