Students Pop Tulane Bubble, Activism Cherry At Women’s March

Saturday, January 21, 2017 was a historic day for people around the globe, as cities on every continent allied themselves with the Women’s March on Washington. Students left uptown, despite not being offered service learning credit or alcohol. Many Tulanianswere involved in the marches, even those new to activism and who had never heard of “a parade without the floats”. As many of their peers joined in the movement, Tulane students were quick to comment with their own thoughts on what many are calling “kind of a party, but too much exercise!”


Ana Schneider, Esteemed Journalist, The Odyssey


“Honestly, I do not understand what happened on Saturday or why these people are so upset. I haven’t looked into it or anything, but I don’t think feminism is for me. Like, sorry you don’t have a boyfriend, but we’ve had the right to vote for, like, twenty years now.  Get over yourselves.”


Emily Albertson, Menstrual Cramp Counselor, The WELL


“Oh my God, it was amazing. I went, and never have I had so many tampons at my disposal. Aunt Flow made a surprise visit and I was freaking out, but I mentioned a period cramp and they just started falling from the sky!  One woman pulled an entire box of pads out from under her shirt and gave them to me. No pink tax! I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.  I’m starting a campaign for monthly marches!”


Jake (“O-Dawg”) Owens, Currently Pledging Theta Omega Alpha Delta Tau Fraternity


“My new brothers made me chase the Tulane bus all the way to DC as a joke, but the JOKE’S ON THEM because I actually learned a lot. I used to look at chicks and just be like ‘I’d do her,’ you know?  But now I look at them and I’m kind of like ‘I’d do her, but I also kind of want to know what she thinks about stuff.’ I don’t know – it’s weird. I can’t wait to tell my brothers. This is gonna blow their minds.”


Stacey Clearwater, Campus Social Media Celebrity


“The Women’s March?!  SEAUX SWEET.  I was absolutely honored to take part in such a huge movement and show my support to all of my followers on Instagram to see.  This was a march that will be a highlight of recent history and my Facebook timeline. It’s so rewarding to think that one day, my grandkids could be looking at my posts in like, a book!”


In the wake of the march, 97% of students now consider themselves activists, 76% plan on incorporating signs about what they want into their daily lives, and  82% are patiently awaiting an award for their paricipation. For those not able or too lazy to attend the march, the Tulane Bookstore is now offering a Women’s March package, including TU Pink Pussy hats, “Roll Women” t-shirts and “Cow Cat Was a Feminist” wall decor, something they’re confident will appeal “not only to those who identify as feminist, but also to the weird subsect of this university that claims one of our campus cats was their ‘#firstfriend’”.  


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