Student Adheres To City Wide ‘Boil Water’ Advisory, Suffers 3rd Degree Burns From Shower

After the city-wide “Boil Water Advisory “ for potential sewage contaminant, student David Bradley has been hospitalized for third degree burns today, October 8th.

“All I wanted to do was take a shower,” stated Bradley. “I saw the notice and decided to do the responsible thing, so naturally, I boiled the water before getting in.”

Nurse Practitioners at the Student Health Center were quick to respond to the call for help.  “When we saw the burns, we knew exactly what happened. We get 10 or 12 of these happening every time the city issues a boil water notice.”

Bradley was told to ‘take three Advil and sleep on it.’ “It was really gross,” Bradley comments. “When I woke up, my skin had melted all over my sheets.” Bradley is expected to make a full recovery, but the problem still stands.

“This has been happening far too often,” says Head Practitioner Roy Jenkins. “We really need to teach these kids that it’s a really, really bad idea to put any part of your body into boiling water.”

“I mean the burns are bad, but thank god I didn’t just shower without boiling the water,” continued Bradley. “I could have, I don’t know, grown tentacles or something. I really dodged a bullet there by disfiguring my entire body.”

Other students have discovered that it might not be the best idea to drink boiling water, either. The only thing worse for a Tulane student’s throat is an average night out at the Boot.

Still no word yet on why an entire city has had all of its water contaminated.

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