Sombrero Kid Still Thinks about Laura Stevens Late At Night

New freshman celebrity Sombrero “Sombrero Kid” Kid, despite enjoying his new college fame, still lies in bed at night thinking about the one who got away, Laura Stevens, reports indicated early Saturday morning.

“Of course, I’m onto bigger and better things now,” Sombrero Kid quietly stated to reporters in the foyer of his 10 bedroom Sharp mansion, whilst sipping on smooth whiskey and playing with his ascot. “I just can’t help but wonder what would have happened… you know, if I had stayed with Laura, to raise our three children and be the stable male figure she always needed in her life… oh well!”

This news comes at a tumultuous time, as Sombrero Kid is reported to have just signed a three-year contract to his hit new reality T.V show “Livin with ‘Brero”. The show gives us a deeper look at character we know so little about, answering such questions as “Why?” “How?” “Why?” And “how will the New Orleans Bounce-music scene adjust to such a character?”

“Most of all, the show will revolve around the anxiety I feel everyday.” Sombrero Kid told us in an exclusive interview. “People know I’m a sombrero kid… but people rarely see the pressures I put on myself to become the Enchilada Adult that I dream of.”

While Sombrero Kid still thinks about Laura, even days after their last interaction, he knows there’s no time to live in the past, stating that Laura is probably “Better off, without the millions of dollars” that he stands to be making next year.


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