Parent Gets TEMS’d

This past saturday, November 3rd, Parent Audrey Ostrager had to be taken to a nearby hospital by the Tulane Emergency Medical Service, after drinking too much and “going all New Orleans 2012! Body shots, YOLO!!” while visiting her son for parents weekend.

“I don’t know what happened after that man offered me shots at Rocco’s” said the 53 year old Ostrager the next morning after getting back from the hospital, “All I know is I have 8 new contacts in my phone, my clothes smell like a weird mix of cigarette smoke and pizza sauce, my shoes are covered with a layer of mud, and the words ‘Lamborghini Mercy’ are tattooed on my lower back. I don’t even know what that means.”

Ostrager apparently went out with a couple of her child’s friends’ parents, who also did not remember much of the night before.

“It was terrible” said William Ostrager, Audreys son. “We planned on getting breakfast the next day when we left each other at 7. Next thing I know I’m hooking up with a girl and my mom is in the back cheering me on. Then she started dancing on my friend. Some things you just cant un-see…”

Ostrager and her son had breakfast the next morning, and reportedly only made small talk and didn’t address any of the spectacle from the night before.


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