Overbooked CAPS Redirects Overflow Appointments to Oz

Unable to take any new appointments for the rest of the semester, CAPS has begun redirecting students seeking counseling to Bruff worker Oz. The charismatic grill master has opened up a temporary psychology booth in the back corner of Bruff Commons typically occupied by loners and a few lazy cockroaches.

“I really consider myself a psychologist because I’ve never made a burger without apologizing to the onions,” Oz said to the Vignette’s resident Food and Mental Health Awareness Correspondent. “I genuinely feel that I can bring bring peace of mind and overall contentedness to disillusioned and unhappy students of Tulane with my upbeat attitude, great listening skills, and my iguana sidekick, Dr. Giggles.”

At press time, all of Oz’s appointments consisted entirely of a fist bump and the statement, “Bump it, pal.” Students have unanimously agreed that this treatment has been more effective than anything CAPS has offered thus far.



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