iPhone X Features Preloaded Angry Taylor Swift Voicemails


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If you’re a music fan, this week just got awesome.

Apple’s highly anticipated unveiling of their new iPhone X included a special treat for all new owners of the gadget. All iPhone Xs will come with a personalized, spiteful, and deeply insulting hate voicemail from none other than the current Queen of Pop, Taylor Swift.

“Apple is proud to announce our partnership with one of the great musicians of her generation, Taylor Swift, in our newest attempt at cutting edge user-oriented content. Every new phone comes with a hateful voicemail from Ms. Swift that directly addresses and verbally undresses each individual iPhone X user!” Apple CEO Tim Cook announced at Monday’s unveiling, swathed in thick violet robes with a genetically engineered python draped across his shoulders. “I’m really excited about this one. Steve may have invented the iPhone, but Tim Cook gave you angry voicemails from Taylor Swift. That’s real innovation.”

New iPhone X owner Chad Whitehaven talked to the Vignette about the quirky new feature earlier this week.
“Yeah, it’s really aggressive and also really personal. She told me I’d messed with her for the last time, and that I’d never live up to my own expectations, especially not with my stupid job and ugly fiance. I think she was pretty plastered when she recorded it. Honestly, it’s a pretty legitimate message. I feel like I’ve wronged not only her, but, in the process, myself.

In addition to hateful TSwizzle voicemails, every new iPhone X user will also get a free U2 album to never listen to.


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