Freshman Microwaves Weed To Cover Up Smell Of Popcorn

Yesterday, Thursday October 25, freshman student Ashton Browner was arrested when TUPD officers found that he had accidentally microwaved his marijuana instead of making his usual popcorn.

“I guess I got confused,” commented freshman student Browner, “I didn’t realize what had happened until I started walking around my hall and everyone was high. I thought it tasted less buttery than normal.”

Browner had achieved the nickname Orville among his friends for making popcorn so often in his dorm room.

“There is no way he likes popcorn that much,” Said popcorn personality and butter enthusiast Orville Redenbacher. “No fucking way.”

“This episode was stranger than usual,” reminisced TUPD officer Gary Mcshanton, “Usually we get calls from RA’s and they sound angry, or worried, but this time we got the call from the RA and he just kept asking ‘how do I know my insides are working if I can’t feel them?!’ Needless to say we were confused.”

“I’ll tell you what,” remarked Browner, “Smoking that popcorn wasn’t to comfortable either.”

This has been the most confusing weed related incident since students realized the neighborhoods around campus also have to abide by laws.


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