1’Fight For Breast Cancer’ Cookies Linked To Diabetes

According to numerous sources, Bruffs new “Fight For Breast Cancer” cookies have been linked to a rise in Diabetes within the Tulane community.

“We just don’t understand it,” commented baffled doctor Roscoe Mcgriff. “There is something about these sugary, chocolate stuffed cookies that is causing obesity and diabetes within the Tulane community. We have sent the cookies to the lab, but we are still waiting for a response.”

Tulane Officials reports that obesity hasn’t been this prevalent on campus since Crawfest. Every year.

“It’s messing around with my emotional reactions,” Claimed freshman student Daniel Statsman. “Now every time someone mention breast cancer my mouth salivates and I start to feel hungry… it’s pretty screwed up.”

Students are trying to do their part in order to raise awareness for breast cancer by trying to reach the 100,000 cookie goal set in Bruff. That is 100,000 cookies for maybe 4,000 students who use Bruff.

“I ate 30 of them,” said sophomore student Terry Mcgill, “You know, to help raise awareness for breast cancer. I’m just trying to do my part for the greater good of society.”

Tulane officials have started a new initiative to raise awareness for diabetes prevention with new “End Diabetes” cigarettes being given away in the sitting area outside the business school.


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