12 Ways Thanksgiving is Exactly Like “The Magic Tree House” Series by Mary Pope Osborne

1.  When the gravy ladle slips slowly into the gravy boat, never to be seen again…


2. When everyone’s going around the table saying what they’re thankful for and then your Uncle Leo decides to give a five-minute speech instead of just saying some bullshit like, “Family,” or “This meal,” like a decent human being


3. When your cousin Dan, who is the family favorite because he joined the Peace Corps after graduating from Cornell, lets you smoke some of his weed so you keep quiet about seeing him on Grindr


4. When everyone at the dinner table tries to one-up each other on who misses your dead grandpa mosturl

5.When your cousin Sage who goes to Bard College and fully wrote in Bernie Sanders on her ballot solves the whole country’s socio-economic problems by loudly reading a Vice article to the tune of the entire “Hamilton” soundtrack

6. When your travel-worn, sleep-deprived Aunt Stella misplaces her newborn


7. When your sad uncle Lewis won’t shut his sad mouth about how much magic camp changed his life and then he botches pulling a wishbone out of grandma’s ear


8. When your 16-year-old cousin and the weird friend he brought to dinner this year sneak sips of wine from every drunk relative’s glasses while they’re not looking


9. When Dan gets the movie working and everybody shuts up for a solid two hours to watch Daniel Day-Lewis in that movie everyone claimed to love 4 years ago but nobody in your family actually watched


10. When your relatives have eaten their fill and no longer feel the need to stay and pretend that you are even the least bit tolerable


11. When you have to share a room with your childless Uncle Travis, who intermittently releases dainty, high-pitched snores


12. When your Mom’s famous leftover crockpot casserole really isn’t that good and gives everyone the shits the next day


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